i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
