I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
