Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
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