So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
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More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
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I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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