fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
