She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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