my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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