Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
