also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
