I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
