im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
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