I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
dude. I can hear the air.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
