i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
