Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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