is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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