The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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