drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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