Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
this is an emotional support booty call
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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