super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
