Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
And then my night got REAL pukey
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
