just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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