there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
