i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
