I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize