Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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