I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
