Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize