Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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