I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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