I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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