I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
