i think my tv is drunk
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
