dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
