using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
