When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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