We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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