You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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