It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
