Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize