I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
soo... how was my night?
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