I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
