we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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