can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
