just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
