I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Randomize
