he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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