I cannot find my penis.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize