Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
