3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i believe in u and ur pee
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