I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
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There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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