Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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