How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I currently don't understand fingers.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
