Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
