Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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