Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
