found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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