if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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