She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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