called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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