I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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